Childhood Depression and Finding a Way Forward

Childhood depression is an issue that still faces misunderstanding, judgment, and taboo. Rates of childhood depression have been increasing steadily for the past few years while understanding and acceptance continues to lag behind.

Many parents and adults may wonder, “what reason do kids have to be depressed?” Indeed, children don’t face as many life challenges as grown adults because they are too young. However, the challenges and struggles of childhood today are definitely enough to cause childhood depression.

Table of Contents

Childhood Depression and Life’s Challenges

Signs and Symptoms of Childhood Depression

Causes of Childhood Depression

Tips for Talking to Kids about Childhood Depression

Additional Tips for Parents of Children with Childhood Depression

Childhood Depression and Life’s Challenges

Compared with the childhoods of today’s parents, children now have a lot more to contend with. Social media often gives them unrealistic goals and negative perceptions of themselves, just as it does for teenagers and adults.

The stress of climate change and an uncertain future can also create a sense of hopelessness for the world, while parents spend more time at work than ever before, meaning less family bonding. Bullying at school can make its way into the home, thanks to the internet, so the problems kids deal with outside are quickly brought into their safe spaces.

Children today have several life challenges to deal with at a much earlier age than previous generations, and it’s happening before they have a chance to develop coping strategies. Their feelings are just as valid as an adult’s, be it depression, anxiety, or any other mental health challenge.

Signs and Symptoms of Childhood Depression

Just because a child occasionally acts angry, grouchy, or sad doesn’t mean they have childhood depression. A common sign of childhood depression that parents need to look out for is when their child’s bad mood lasts for weeks or even months.

Below are the most common signs and symptoms of childhood depression:

• Constant feelings of anger/irritability
• Low levels of energy
• Zero interest in activities they enjoyed in the past
• Disinterest/withdrawal from fun social events
• Problems concentrating or remembering
• Running away from home or feeling like they need to escape
• Constantly thinking or talking about dying
• Sleeping too much or not sleeping enough
• Eating too much or not enough
• Low self-worth and low self-confidence

Causes of Childhood Depression

Many things can impact a child’s mental health and cause depression. Family genetics can give children a higher chance of developing depression when encountering one or more of life’s challenges.

Other causes may include:

• High stress levels.
• Losing someone they love.
• Trauma.
• Undergoing hardships like poverty.

Bullying and hostile treatment from others, such as being excluded or regularly taunted, can also take a toll and lead to depression.

Children who experience severe and painful health problems are more likely to develop depression too. None of the above points guarantee that depression will develop, but they all contribute to increasing a child’s chances of developing it.

Tips for Talking to Kids about Childhood Depression

Because of how quickly kids grow and learn about themselves and the world, their age and level of understanding will decide how you talk to them about depression.

Talking to Young Children

Young children who haven’t yet made it to school probably won’t have heard about mental health or depression. There is also a good chance that they haven’t consciously realized how they are feeling; they just feel.

Starting the conversation

You can start a conversation about childhood depression by first mentioning a time when you felt upset or sad for longer than usual. Ask them if they feel sad or upset like you used to, and if they feel that way now, or if they can tell you the last time they felt like that. Focus on actively listening and letting them say as much as they want. Once it is your turn to talk, let them know how brave they are for talking about feelings that don’t feel nice and that you understand how hard it can be. Try comparing notes about your experiences and if they know why they feel this way.

If you don’t have your own experience with depression, you can still relate stories about times when you were sad or upset in the past.

Speak using language they understand

Young children won’t understand the terms that doctors or therapists use with other adults and probably won’t understand the word “depression” either.

Instead, relate depression to feelings they already know about, like feeling sad or “blue”. They may benefit from an analogy, like always having a dark raincloud over them, even when it’s sunny.

Tell them that it’s completely normal for everyone to have blue days now and then, but when that blue feeling doesn’t go away, it’s called depression.

Reassure Them

Because they have little experience with mental health struggles and depression, the experience of feeling down for so long will be profound and scary. Reassure your child that there is nothing wrong with them and that you and some special doctors understand what they are going through.

Ask them to remember when they felt happy, excited, and free of depression. Let them know they can go back to feeling like that with help from some experts.

Prepare for a Doctor’s Visit

The best option is to take your child to a doctor trained in children’s mental health, like a pediatrician. A doctor’s visit is essential because many mental health conditions, like anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), have overlapping symptoms. Getting the right diagnosis means getting the right help.

By preparing your child for their visit, you are helping them be open and honest about their feelings. Remind them of a previous visit to a doctor or health professional that was a pleasant experience, and relate the upcoming visit to that. You can also explain some basics about medications and that therapy is another good way to help them feel better.

Talking to School-Aged Children

Once kids go to school, they learn very quickly about the world. They may have already heard about depression but are also less likely to start a conversation about it. Usually, they don’t want to upset you or are worried they might get in trouble.

Create a safe environment

Because school-aged children are more likely to withhold how they feel, you must create an environment where they feel safe to talk. You can do this by:

• Finding a calm place away from other people where your child doesn’t feel threatened
• Tell them that there is nothing wrong with how they feel and that they can say anything they want
• Tell them that the way they feel is not their fault and they haven’t done anything wrong to feel this way
• Empathize with their feelings, and be an active listener

Remove stigma

Stigma, shame, and fear of showing vulnerability can make mental health conversations more complicated than they already are. Work on breaking down any stigma by explaining that depression is a typical human experience that kids and adults sometimes get. It doesn’t mean anything about them as a person.

Because school-aged kids are more aware, you can show them the symptoms of childhood depression above. Doing this will emphasize that there is already an understanding of it because other people have experienced it just like them.

Open the discussion

After reviewing the list of symptoms, you can open a discussion by asking if anything matches how they feel. Listen to what they say, and gently encourage them to give more details to help you understand. Don’t interrupt them while they speak, and avoid any judgment.

You can ask them if something happened to cause the depression, but don’t push them to talk if they don’t want to. If they have nothing more to share, you can tell them about a time when you had depression or felt sad. Invite them to ask questions about your experience, but keep answers and topics age-appropriate.

Reassure them

Because they may still be struggling with stigma, shame, or embarrassment over their mental health, reassure them that there is nothing wrong with feeling depressed. Almost 4% of the world suffers from depression!

Ask them about a time that they felt happy, and remind them that they can go back to that with some help from the experts. Depression doesn’t last forever.

Prepare for a doctor’s visit

As with very young children, school-aged children need to feel calm and at ease for their doctor’s appointments to be more open about their feelings. As an adult, you will need to collect as much information as possible in case your child can’t remember specifics or doesn’t want to talk.

Take notes for around a month before the appointment about their appetite, sleep, daily mood, motivation, and how much stress they are under.

Additional Tips for Parents of Children with Childhood Depression

Be prepared for other diagnoses

Even when your child presents with apparent symptoms of depression, they must get a diagnosis from a trained medical professional. Depression can have physical causes, such as hormonal dysfunction, and can be confused with other mental health illnesses. Don’t settle on a self-diagnosis at home.

Make sure your child regularly gets to therapy appointments

Learning to cope with depression and eventually overcome it requires regular therapy appointments. Missing many appointments means the therapy will be less effective, and a trusting, genuine relationship likely won’t be built between your child and the therapist.

Maintain an open line of communication about how they are feeling

Do not judge them for how they feel or for having low energy and motivation because this will destroy any communication. Regularly communicate with your child about how they feel by actively listening and empathizing. Open communication means they feel safe with you and can speak up if their depression becomes too much to handle.

Keep bonding with them through fun, outgoing activities

Just because they are depressed doesn’t mean that they should be excluded from fun family activities. Try to gently and consistently encourage them to come out with you for activities you BOTH enjoy, like ice cream, walking pets, or getting a little exercise.

Be patient

It’s normal for parents to feel frustrated when their child doesn’t seem to improve despite all their effort. Frustration is common, but patience is vital, as childhood depression can take some time to recover from. Showing your frustration to your child might prevent them from being open about how they feel.